Thursday, September 25, 2008

Queen Youtube versus Angry Arab. I really really would rather read the phone book. Or I would really really rather read the manual of the space shuttle. Or I would really really rather read the directions to hell. Queen Youtube is keeping a diary in New York City: and if there is somebody who writes in cliches that we abandon in our early teens, it is her: "The great thing about having jetlag in New York is that I'm up so early I get the best of the morning—the crisp, fresh, sunny starts that make you feel like you can take on the day ahead with gusto." And then she tells me this: "Can't help but wonder if the average New Yorker is counting the hours until the U.N. General Assembly and everything else that's happening around it are over so they can get their city back." I don't know about New Yorkers, but I live in California, and I can't wait until you get the hell out of the US so I don't get subjected to your silly and vapid diaries. And then: "So, I'm in NY this week wearing a couple of hats." Oh, you think that you are funny now? Am I suppsed to laugh here or chuckle or smile? Because I did not. I just cringed. Also, you may wear the Tarbush for all I care. And then: "It's something we're very interested in, in the Arab world." We? In the Arab world? You think that you and King PlayStation speak on behalf of the Arab people? I wish to escort you down any street you select in any Arab country and let you hear what people REALLY think of you and your PlayStation husband. Here, she is dazzling the White Man with her knowledge of architecture (like Adonis will dazzle the White Man at Columbia University with his knowledge of music, especially Ms. Yo-Yo Ma): "the awesome and inspiring architecture of Gotham Hall." Wow? How many staffers it took for you to come up with "awesome and inspiring" adjectives for architecture? Did you just have to say that to sound artistically literate? And here you are supposed to feel that she is a great mom: "My husband told me that Hashem, my 3-year-old, has been coughing all night and has a temperature, and my stomach lurched with guilt for not being there to cuddle and soothe him. Why do they always get sick when I'm away? It kills me." I don't know why they get sick, but it could be excitement. If you were my mother, I would get sick to my stomach when you are around, but different kids react differently to differnt situation. But don't worry o British-titled Queen Youtube. King PlayStation is with them, and I am sure his promotion to the Wii will keep all family members busy. (thanks Ramiz)